Unusual
by Accio-Underwear
Summary: Wendy sighed, pushing her nearly empty tray aside and resting her chin in her palm, “Fine,” She admitted, letting her eyes drift back to the curious couple, “She’s manipulative and knows how to get what she wants. I still don’t see how they work.”


_Disclaimer – I do not own South Park._

_KyleisGod got me into this pairing! Don't blame me (entirely). _

* * *

Wendy Testaburger was fairly confused and amazed at the fairly unnatural occurrence happening three tables away.

She sat, at lunch, with Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick, all now seventeen and well into their Junior year of high school. The strange and bizarre happening included her best friend, Bebe Stevens, and Eric Cartman.

They were sitting at the table, alone, and looking incredibly comfortable. This strange new ritual started three days before and it still confounded the entire student body. Bebe sat, still attractive as ever, comparing her notes with Cartman's as the boy grudgingly ate a salad. She glanced at him, making a quiet comment and smiled. He rolled his eyes and replied, though not looking unkind. She then wiped a bit of salad dressing off the corner of his mouth with her finger and he playfully nipped at her.

Wendy glanced at her male friends, noting how Kenny was making the universal 'I'm going to vomit' gesture by pointing his finger to his open mouth and holding his stomach.

Everyone had issues with the odd pairing for different reasons but no one more than Kenny McCormick. Wendy knew he had feelings for the girl, those that were at least of how one felt for their sister, and there were rumors that they were fuck buddies. Of course, a relationship would end that, leaving the blonde boy in an even worse mood. Bebe Stevens was a girl any boy would be lucky to screw. They were only rumors of course.

"She's too good for him," Kenny remarked in annoyance.

"I-I'm scared that Eric's going to corrupt her," Butters Stotch remarked, arriving to the table with tray in hand and Clyde Donavon, Craig Tucker and Token Black in tow.

Clyde snorted, "Too late for that, Butters, girl's already corrupt."

"And what do you mean by that?" Wendy asked, quick to jump to her best friend's defense.

Clyde gave a simple shrug, "Bebe's already a manipulative bitch, and you know that."

Wendy sputtered to argue when Stan gave her a look, "You know it's true, Wendy," He said coolly, "Remember when she influenced the other girls and had a fake list made just so she could date Clyde for shoes."

"Killed my allowance," Clyde muttered.

"Or when she got boobs," Kyle suggested, "We did anything to be around her."

"She didn't want them though," Wendy argued.

"'Till she realized their power along with that ass of hers," Kenny countered morosely before taking a sip from his juice box.

"What about when she led the other girls in that Stupid Spoiled Whore revolution?" Craig asked with his usual tone of disinterest.

"My poor ass," Clyde moaned.

"Yeah, good thing you don't use it."

"Fuck off, Craig."

"Yeah," Kyle chirped, "Didn't she shun you or something, Wendy?"

Wendy sighed, pushing her nearly empty tray aside and resting her chin in her palm, "Fine," She admitted, letting her eyes drift back to the curious couple, "She's manipulative and knows how to get what she wants. I still don't see how they work."

"No one does," Clyde replied, opening a small bag of chips, "Bebe's a bitch but Cartman's just plain evil."

* * *

Wendy noted that neither Cartman nor Bebe changed in character when they were apart. Bebe was still bubbly and superficial, though showing more concern about her grades and Cartman was still a hate filled asshole, who had suddenly taken an interest in healthier food. They didn't act like a normal couple though.

At least not a high school couple.

Bebe would be seen arranging Cartman's locker and nagging him about how he shouldn't keep his God awful nasty gym clothes in the same locker as the food she packed for him. Cartman would retort with a usual quip only not at all harsh and there was never an insult like 'bitch' or 'ho'. Cartman would also be heard scolding Bebe on her low homework scores, sometimes saying 'We'll just go over it tonight after today's homework."

They never held hands, no one ever saw them kiss, but they did show affection. Highly unusual affection.

Cartman would push Bebe's frizzy hair behind her ear when they were talking, she would use a lint roller whenever Mr. Kitty's hair covered him too much (she always kept a small one in her bag), and they'd often give each other a pat on the back or arm along with a tender smile.

Several times, Wendy hinted at Bebe explaining what was going on but the blonde never spilled, she simply changed the subject to something else. Stan would come back with the same results, though he was less interested with what Eric Cartman was up to these days, more focused on getting a girlfriend of his own.

Kyle, on the other hand, was more than eager to help Wendy, often stating that he was sure Cartman was up to something.

Wendy smiled at Kyle as he passed, taking chase after his frienemy as she approached Bebe, who was loading her books into her bag for the next class.

"Hey, Bebe!" She greeted.

Bebe glanced up to her, a weak and forced smile on her face, causing Wendy to falter.

If Cartman broke her heart….

"Hey, Wendy, what's up?"

"I haven't seen you in a while," Wendy replied, concern filling her voice, "Where've you been hiding? You're never home when I call your house."

Bebe flinched and cleared her throat, "I haven't been home much," She replied quietly.

"Well….why not?" Wendy asked carefully.

Bebe gave a small shrug, "My parents. You know how they get," She replied vaguely, "Listen, I'll call you tonight. Is that okay?"

Wendy frowned but nodded and Bebe quickly took off to her class.

* * *

"And then he said 'Not all of us can have can have perfect lives like you, Jew fag.' and stomped off." Wendy chewed on the eraser of her pencil as Kyle rested his head on his desk beside her, using his arms as pillows. It was Study Hall, so the teacher didn't really give a crap what the students were doing, as long as it wasn't drugs or fornication. "One of the weirdest conversations I have ever had with that asshole."

"I don't understand why Bebe would be so…"

"She's hiding something from you, it sounds like. About her family." Kyle said casually.

"But why? I'm her best friend! I mean….why Cartman of all people?" Wendy asked desperately, "I highly doubt-"

"You're parents are fucking awesome, Wendy," Kyle interrupted, "They support you, challenge you to think, and they love you and each other. Cartman comes from a somewhat broken home where his whore of a mom is his dad."

Wendy winced. Cartman would understand if there were severe family problems in Bebe's life, but it was Cartman. Just because he understood didn't mean he cared. Even though he was making an obvious show of caring about the blonde girl.

"Maybe they're not together, maybe he's just…fuck, I don't know," Kyle muttered.

The slam of a locker echoed through the hall and the sound flew into the room, causing a chill to tingle up Wendy's spine. Her intuition screamed that she should check it out and she quickly rose to her feet. The hall was empty but she quickly and quietly walked until she reached a corner, peeking around the corner she saw Bebe, leaning against the lockers, hands covering her face as her shoulders wracked with sobs.

Wendy started to move to comfort her friend but Cartman beat her there, turning a corner and quickly walking to meet the blonde.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"He moved out," Bebe cried, speaking low that Wendy barely could hear her before turning to kick the lockers and shout, "He fucking left with that home wrecking bitch that's barely older than I am. My mother fucking called to tell me! I hate him! I hate him so much!"

Wendy's blood ran cold.

"Yeah, your Dad's a fucking ass," Cartman stated evenly, placing his hands on Bebe's shoulders and turning her away from the lockers so she wouldn't end up summoning an administrator. "You and your Mom are better off without him."

"My Mom's a fucking moron." Bebe argued, "How're we going to live? Her looks are gone and she doesn't even know how to multiply eight and four!"

"Alimony." Cartman replied shortly, "And child support. And if need be, I'll figure out something to help."

Wendy bit her lip as they stared at each other in silence for a moment and Bebe tightly embraced the boy everyone called evil. He kissed the blonde on the top of her frizzy blonde head and pulled away, keeping an arm still around her.

"C'mon, I'll treat you to Shakey's," He said, leading her down the hall, "But I'm not having a fucking salad."

The relationship still thoroughly confused Wendy, but she knew now that Bebe and Cartman didn't need an explanation of how they worked.

They just did.


End file.
